It was just another day in the magical land of Equestia, the mane six sat around on a picnic blanket, enjoying the warm summer day. Spike was with them too, but he's only a side character, so whatever. Anyway, there they were, enjoying the warm summer day, blah blah blah, when suddenly, like a ominous fog cloud rolling into view, an ominous fog cloud rolled into view. It came slowly creeping, like it was trying to sneak up on them, which it was because all of the ponies (and spike) had rolled a 1 on perception. Now, with it being literally right next to the picnicking losers it lashed out a strawberry scented smokey tentacle, grabbing Spike around the ankles and dragging him into the fog. The girls finally took notice to their #1 doormat being taken and sprung into action, however they were too late. The fog began to zip away, even faster than Rainbow's bullshit speed and disappeared into the Everfree forest.
"Sayonara Niggas!" The fog bellowed out as it vanished into the conveniently ominous woods.
"Yehaw, I don't right tootin' shootin' know what in the texas cowboy rope 'em happened" Applejack let out, her dialogue filled with a thicker country accent and even more country nonsense.
"That smoke cloud just took spike!" Twilight cried out.
"Actually little miss purple-smart, it was a vape cloud. Also I'm a lesbian" Rainbow said, the last part being thrown in for offensive and comedic purposes.
"…." Said Fluttershy, her voice too damn quiet to hear.
"Exactly! We should look around for clues, that's a great idea Fluttershy!" Pinkie exclaimed as she suddenly wore the sherlock holmes hat and held a magnifying glass in her hoof and began searching around for clues.
"I think I found something!" Pinkie called out, causing the other ponies to stop grazing in the field and some over to her.
On the ground was a single piece of three-holepunched college ruled notebook paper. Written on it was the most horrifying thing the girls had ever seen.
"Oh sweet Celestia! Milk, Eggs, Cheese. I think i'm gonna be sick" Twibright called out, quickly taking Applesnack's hat and spewing into it, then replacing it on her head.
"Noooo turn it around" the author saidPost too long. Click here to view the full text.